The Trial - The court scene (Orson Welles, 1962)

The court scene. The Trial is a film by Orson Welles. It is based on a book by Franz Kafka. The main role of Josef K. is played by Anthony Perkins.

The In’s and Out’s of the human excrement system and what to do with yours

Here is something I wrote in the style of Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy

The diet of the human being is renowned for its sadistically agonizing treatment of the digestive system. Should you therefore drink too much of their colourless liquid or eat what humans refer to as “Indian food” then you are likely to find it passing through your intestines at an exceedingly alarming rate and will require an intimacy of their excrement system.
Humans tend to use a number system when describing these situations. Number one refers to the passing of liquid while number two is that of solids and noxious gas. The effect of this system is then determined by the gender of the human. If they are male, the number they require indicates whether they should sit or stand during the process while females prefer to sit no matter what they are doing.
If you are portraying the character of a male human being while on your expeditions then there are two essential instruments with which you must become accustomed. The first is referred to as a ‘urinal’ and appears to look like a large white circle, a similar material and shape to the bowls [see chapter 6] in which your food would be served. These two objects are not to be confused however as it is regarded a greatly discourteous and disparaging act to number one in the soup, no matter how insipid you regard its taste to be. The second is necessary for the act of number 2 and is technically termed a ‘toilet’, however the country on earth which you are visiting may have a variety of terms including, ‘the johnny’, ‘the tarts wardrobe’, ‘the shitter’ and ‘the loo’. Nevertheless, the term ‘toilet’ is understood in all English [see chapter 2] speaking countries so when in doubt, ask. This object resembles a large dish alos and has a handle which is pushed down to efficiently dispose of any and all substances. For all genders you are required to flush the toilet when finished and must watch the process to ensure that everything has gone down. Female humans make use of only the toilet as they have been proved physically incapable of performing in the same manner as men.
The urinals and toilets are usually kept hidden away and must be searched for using the aid of plaques and signs indicating ‘toilets’ and an arrow. Follow these arrows and you are likely to reach your destination. Men and women choose to perform these acts in separate quarters, shown by a stick drawing of a male or female human nailed to the door. For women these quarters are then further separated into cubicles so that each human may have the capacity to reveal their netheregions [see chapter 10] in private. Men, on the other hand, are far more of exhibitionists as urinals are nailed to one wall and all men showcase themselves in order to gain approval. Should you wish to make more human friends on your trip, it is advised that you buy an extra large penis as it has been proven to make you more friends, particularly female ones.



Glitter Graphics

Happy Birthday Glitter Pictures

"This Be The Verse" by Philip Larkin

The Two Ronnies - The Bore

Politics Essay: Political Parties

Why, and to what extent is there consensus between the major UK parties?

In post 1945 there was a lot of consensus between social democracy and one nation conservatism. This was contrasted by the arrival of Thatcherism in the 1970s which created adversary politics as Labour, went further left in an attempt to offset the new right of Thatcherism. Blairism created more consensus politics as he adopted some Thatcherite policies and ideas as well as post 1945 social democratic ideas. In the UK today there is still consensus politics.

There is more consensus politics as parties are becoming more of catch-all parties than pragmatic parties. This can be seen in the election of David Cameron as the leader of the conservative party. He has modernised the party in an attempt to attract homosexuals, ethnic minorities and the poor. This has meant that Cameron is a One Nation tory and has led to similar social policies between Labour and the Conservatives.

In terms of crime, the Conservatives want to empower communities by rebuilding the bond between the police and the public. They believe this will be done by cutting paperwork and reforming the regulation of investigatory powers act. Labour also want to build a better relationship between communities and the police by making it easy to contact the police working with them to agree on local priorities and deal with peoples concerns. Although there is a lot of consensus in this area, as they both want to better the relationship between police and communities, there is also a lot of adversary politics, which can be seen in the way that they would do this. While conservatives would change laws and regulations, the Labour party would just try to create more communication rather than changing laws. This means that Conservatives want to do something big to show change, where as Labour want to leave the law as it is but create the belief that things have changed.

There is more adversary policies when it comes to families and financial help than with anything else. This is because Cameron has stuck with the traditional Conservative family views whereas Labour believe that single parent families and couples need more support than married couples. This can be seen in Labours plans to increase child benefit, cut income tax, extend maternity leave and help businesses such as Sure Start. Conservatives, meanwhile, would change the laws, systems and rights for different types of families such as ending the couple penalty. This shows that Conservatives are more concerned with giving different families different rights to help them and then leaving them to it, whereas Labour gives money to help but doesn’t change any law, therefore help isn’t only for those who need it.

Monty Python - Court Scene

My Favourite Actor: Heath Ledger

This January marks the two year anniversary of Heath Ledgers death. The actor was found dead in his Manhattan apartment by a masseuse and housekeeper on January 22nd 2008. Autopsy tests showed that he died of an accidental overdose of anti-anxiety and sleeping pills.
At the time of his death, Ledger had just finished filming the Dark Knight where he was the first non-American actor to play the joker and was in the process of filming The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. The day after he died, he was supposed to meet with Stephen Spielberg to explore the idea of him playing Tom Hayden in a film about the Chicago 7. In an interview with the New York Times, Ledger said he ‘stressed out a little too much’ while filming his role as Bob Dylan in I’m Not There and had trouble sleeping while portraying the Joker: ‘Last week I probably slept on average 2 hours a night. I couldn’t stop thinking. My body was exhausted but my mind was still going.’ Did the pressures of these demanding roles combine with the pressures of fatherhood and stardom to push Ledger over the edge and into an early grave?
Ledger’s first major role came as Patrick in the 1999 teen flick 10 Things I Hate About You which raked in $55,500,000 worldwide and ten times as many female fans for Heath. While the average actor would have taken this as success, Ledger feared of being typecast as a teen hunk and accepted a role in the war drama The Patriot alongside Mel Gibson. This reluctance to be potholed into the category of Hollywood Hunk cropped up frequently throughout Ledger’s career. After The Patriot came a striking inconsistency of roles as Ledger accepted virtually every role sent his way in a bid against being typecast. Some were met with praise, such as his role in Monsters Ball, while other flopped. Ned Kelly was such a disaster that distributors were hesitant to release it outside of Australia. ‘I feel like I’m wasting my time if I repeat myself’ Ledger explained, ‘I can’t say I’m proud of my work. It’s the same with everything I do: the day I say it’s good is the day I should start doing something else.’
Heath was finally met with deserved acclaim in 2005 as Ennis Del Mar in Brokeback Mountain, a film which won 78 awards and 64 nominations including 7 wins and 15 nominations for Ledger’s performance. After a series of failed attempts it seemed that Ledger had hit the mother lode. Ledger admitted ‘I started to get bored; not with the choices I was making, because I didn’t really have a choice. The choices were being made for me – I was being thrown into projects. So I kind of put the brakes on that. In a sense I destroyed my career to rebuild it again.’
Nevertheless, things didn’t get any easier for Ledger as the success of Brokeback Mountain created as many torments as it had triumphs. On the one hand, he was now a household name and had gotten engaged to co-star Michelle Williams, with whom he had a daughter Matilda. On the other, Ledger was now a Hollywood star who faced a constant battle with the limelight and finding new roles that would continue to challenge him and still be a hit at the box office.
Ledger was always frank about the high anxiety and self-doubt he suffered due to his career. ‘When I get cast in something, I always believe I shouldn’t have been cast. I fooled them again. I can’t do it. I don’t know how to do it. There’s a huge amount of anxiety that drowns out any excitement I have towards the projects.’
While his career pushed him to his limits, Ledger looked to his 2 year old daughter Matilda, his engagement to Williams having broken down in 2007. An employee at a children’s store in Ledger’s neighbourhood said she had frequently seen Ledger with his daughter – carrying the toddler on his shoulders, or having an ice cream with her. ‘They were really close. He’s a very down to earth guy and an amazing father.’
Although the joys and normality of fatherhood relaxed him and gave him a sense of freedom, Ledger could never escape his new A-List title and the horde of Paparazzi and red carpets that came with it. Notoriously shy, Ledger described walking down the red carpet as ‘diving into an Olympic pool, swimming the length underwater then emerging gasping for breath.’
It is these pressures of fame that some blame for Ledger’s death. Others say that his never ending stream of difficult roles overworked him. What proves most interesting about Ledger’s death, however, is that the majority blame no-one. Instead of pointing the finger, people celebrated his life and career. Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd said ‘Heath Ledger’s diverse and challenging roles will be remembered as some of the greatest performances by an Australian actor.’ It appears that in his death, Ledger achieved all that he had wanted from life: for people to not to fascinate over his appearance or personal life or Hollywood status, but to appreciate and, above all, enjoy his performances as an actor. As Ledger himself put it, ‘when I die, my money’s not going to come with me. My movies will live on for people to watch and judge what I was as a person.’



This video speaks volumes to me!!!