End of the month message

If i had to make one comment on May's blog posts, i would say it has been a big one, that's for sure. We've had so many different things posted and in such a great volume that it's hard to keep up with it all!!!

I know i have loved every second of it, even with my exams giving me far less time than i'd like!
I just hope that you readers have loved it just as much as we have!

next month is all about the past so be ready for some fond memories and also some profound work on the dark side of our past....

See you tommorow on the beginning of June!


Quote of the day!

Remember that no one loses any other life than this which he now lives, nor lives any other than this which he now loses

Marcus Aurelius

Two Ronnies - Bert

Quote of the day!

All colours agree in the dark

Francis Bacon

The Two Ronnies - Crossword

The Best Medicine?

I first discovered this new brand of pain relief while watching the popular hospital drama, Grey’s Anatomy. The interns were discussing patient Henry Lemont who was having a very painful spinal implant. Henry was allergic to all pain medicine, but luckily one of the Doctors had found him alternative pain relief through ‘Naughty Nurses 4’. That’s right, Henry Lemont, whose wife sat in the corner knitting, was watching pornography to ease his pain.

In the everyday home, pornography is often used as a ‘stress reliever’ and now doctors all over the world are researching into using it as a pain reliever. Watching pornography causes the brain and body to release natural drugs back into the nervous system, which gives it the ability of self-medication as it masks pain and stress.

It’s not specifically pornography that scientists are researching as pain relief. Porn itself could never be solely used as pain medicine, as the thought of thousands of hospital rooms across the world screening “Girls Wet & Wild: Uncut” is, quite fairly, considered unethical.

Instead, scientists have been looking into the science and psychology behind the common saying: Love is the best medicine. Pornography may ease pain relief, but the love for pornography is what releases the pain relieving chemicals.

The best psychological evidence of love easing pain can be seen in the relationship between a small child and their parents. The other type of love that helps ease pain is the love between a couple. There have been many survivors of severe illnesses who claim that they wouldn’t have survived, had it not been for the love of the partner getting them through. Similarly to the love between the parent and child, the love between two couples causes the release of chemicals from the brain.

These chemicals are some what stronger than that of the parent and child however, as they not only mask pain, but it affects the body from head to toe. These chemicals have been inked to reduced heart attacks, ease the pain of back ache, arthritis and migraines and cause people to be less vulnerable to depression and suicide!

So how exactly do the scientists plan on using this information for pain relief? Although the love of a child or partner can be excellent pain relief, unfortunately not everyone in the world is blessed with either of the two.

For those that are blessed with a child, partner or pornographic video, doctors plan on enhancing the interaction between the two to work alongside medication.

The medication itself, however, is what the men in white coats are investigating further. They believe that the key lies in the natural pain relieving chemical L-Phenylalanine. It helps to lengthen the lifespan of the chemicals in the brain that ease pain and is especially effective in relieving pain from arthritis and aching muscles. Enhanced pain relief has been discovered when L-phenylalanine is used with prescribed pain killers and normal pain relief is found when used on its own.

The scientists have created their own version of this chemical called DL-phenylalaine which is a combination of half L-phenylalaine and half D-phenylalanine. L-Phenylalanine is the natural form of phenylalanine found in proteins all over the body. D-Phenylalanine is a synthesized form of the chemical, which means it is produced in a laboratory. This manufactured form of phenylalanine is used to block an enzyme in the nervous system that increases pain signals. The interruption of pain signals allows the healing mechanisms of the body to begin working faster. Though they may not have yet discovered how to get us running on love as easy as Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, you have to pay theses scientists their dues.

For all the parents, children, couples and general public out there who are suffering from a little pain, these scientists have discovered the cheapest and nicest solution. From now on, instead of reaching for the pills, people will be reaching for their parents or children and partners or pornos. I believe that this discovery will bring a far happier and more sexually aroused world. Thank god.

Robyn xxxx

Quote of the day!

Old age is a second childhood



How to write a popular science article!

A popular science article is one where you can get really creative! The idea is to take a boring science topic, such as the solar system and then write an article in a way that people will be entertained, will enjoy reading but will still learn something! Up for the challenge? Excellent!

Remember PALS from our "how to write an interview" post? Well, they are the most important thing here and all you really need to know for writing a popular science article! If you don't remember, go back and take a quick look at the interview help post by clicking on the DIY or help tags!

Purpose: The purpose of a popular science article is to inform the reader, but also entertain them! That means you have to use all your english skills to be funny, interesting and witty. To do this it helps to use metaphors, rhetorical questions, personification, alliteration and all that jazz

Audience: The point of popular science articles is that they can appeal to a wider audience, but it's still important to think of the age, gender and media that the article would go with. For example, is it an article about cars in a mens magazine?

Language: In popular science articles, you need to use simple language to make the science bits easy to understand, and then entertaining language everywhere else! You also need to take your audience into account, because you wouldn't use words like "antidisestablishmentarianism" (real word!) in a child's magazine, would you?

Structure: Structure is, in my opinion, the most important part of a popular science article. Long paragraph after long paragraph will make your article look boring, so try having a colourful eye-catching header, and a few pictures to make it come alive. Unfortunately, this is just about impossible to do when you are writing it on a blog, so then it will really have to be your words that make it interesting!

As well as popular science articles, you could do popular history, popular maths, popular english. Basically, every boring topic in the world can be turned into a popular article! In a way this is a popular english article because we are informing you on how to write and article, but trying to make it fun to read at the same time! (hopefully i'm doing a good job!)

Robyn xxx

Two Ronnies - Name droppers

Quote of the day!

It's not that i'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens

Woody Allen

How to write an interview

Here is our first help guide on writing an interview of your own. Hope you find it helpful!

The most important thing to think about when writing anythingis

Purpose: With interviews, you have to think is the purpose of your interview to find out about a topic, or to find out about a person, or for that person to plug their new movie or whatever.

Audience: Are you writing this interview for women or men? or both? For children? For film lovers or book lovers? For fans of the person you're interviewing? The audience will affect how you say things, for example, if you're interview was for a child, one of your questions wouldn't be "what are your current views on the economic crisis?" because a child a) wouldn't understand and b) probably wouldn't care

Language : This is linked to the audience. If you're interview is going to be in a medical journal you can use words such as "coronary heart bypass" or trichtomallisis and the doctors will know what you're on about, whereas for a teens article you might say "he was so ugly it made me want to puke". Make the language fit who you're writing for BUT that doesn't mean give up on grammar. For example, if you were writing it for chavs, you WOULDN'T say "and dats like what u shuld do ennit"

Structure: There are two ways to present interviews. The first is called question and answer and is quite self-explanatory: You write the question, then the answer below it. This is most popular with articles for young people, music and film magazines. The second is called integrated approach: this is where you re-write the interview almost as if you are telling the story of when you gave the interview. This means you would set the scene and convey atmosphere "I wait in the swish Ritz hotel in London, where she arrives ten minutes late, with her pet poodle under one arm and a huge box of cigarettes under the other." In this form you use parts of the answers here and there to send some kind of message, for example, in the original interview you're question may have been "have you ever thought of going on a celebrity gameshow, if so, which one?" and the answer was "Definitely who wants to be a millionaire. I really want to help charities but i don't think i would get very far because i'm not that smart." In your typed up interview, you might change this to: She tells me thats he really wants to do her bit for the world, "i really want to help charities but i don't think i would get very far because i'm not that smart". I thanked God she commented on her brains, or lack thereof, so i wouldn't have to!"

The next most important thing with interviews is WHO you are interviewing. It's usually a bad ida to interview friends and family, because it makes the interview more interesting if the interviewer doesn't know the interviewee very well either. This way you will come up with much more interesting questions because it is much easier to come up with questions for things you don't know than things you do know!

Now we've got the core bits out of the way, here is the step by step of creating you're interview:

Step 1: The interview

Make sure you interview your person face to face. You should tape or record the interview (i use the recorder on my phone) to make sure you catch everything thats said and then have a notepad to note down any body language, facial expressions or movements that the person makes that you want to include in your interview. This is extra effective if your purpose is to say something about their personality because, as they say, 90% of what you say doesn't come out of your mouth.

Make sure you have planned some questions, and make sure they are open based questions because you're interview will be pretty rubbish if all the answers are "yes" and "no". During the interview you could come up with more questions you want to ask which is good, as long as you have a few prepared. Make sure the questions have some sort of purpose to help your interview. For example, if you are talking to a tennis player and trying to find out more about how to become a professional tennis player, you wouldn't ask:
"which is better: ready salted crisps or salt and vinegar?" With the questions you ask, start with some nice small warm up questions: "when did you get into tennis", "what do you love about tennis" and then move on to the more detailed ones: "what has been the proudest moment of your career so far."

Step 2: Writing up the interview

First listen back to interview and make notes on what is said. Then try to put the questions into a logical order to make sure that the interview flows, it helps to put them under loose headings, or by purpose, or by how the answers compliment each other. There are many ways to do it, and it varies depending on your interview. The next part has already been explained: choose your structure. Are you going to do a question and answer or an integrated approach? Once you've picked one, start writing and remember to keep in mind PALS!

Tommorow I will be posting her interview, so see if you can spot my audience, purpose and which stucture I used!

Robyn xxx


Quote of the day!

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends or most of the people you see every day, is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform

Thedore H White

John Cleese, Ronnie Barker and Ronnie Corbett: Class.

How to write a haiku!

What is it?
A haiku is an unrhyming poem with 3 lines. The first line has 5 syllables, the second has 7 and the third has 5.

What is it about?
A haiku is used to create an image or convey an emotion and is mainly about nature or natural things.

How to write it?
Just try to sum up what you are trying to say in those 17 syllables. Most haikus do this through imagery, for example describing nature to represent loneliness

Robyn xxx

Quote of the day

Edmund Burke

You can never plan the future by the past


HAPPY BIRTHDAY to us!!!! 6 months wooo!!!! 6 more and we'll be the big 1!!!!

Glitter Graphics

Happy Birthday Glitter

The Two Ronnies - 2000 Today

Quote of the day!

When we hold negativefeelings about people in our past, we carry those feelings to those in our present

Susan Jeffers

The Two Ronnies Courtroom Gameshow (1984)

How to write a sonnet!

What is it?
A sonnet is a 14 line love poem. Each line has 10 syllables, like the beating of a heart, which is known as an iambic pentameter. It has an A - B - A - B rhyming structure.
How to write it:
Normally they tell some kind of story about someone you love, and normally as a beginning, middle and end style. For example, you may begin by describing your love, move on to how other guys love her too and end with your fear of her leaving you.
Modern sonnets don't HAVE to be about love, but Shakespearean style sonnets always are.
As with most poems, once you know the format, we can't help and it's all up to you, so get writing!
Robyn xxx

Quote of the day

We only confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones.

Francois, Duc de la Rochefoucauld

The Two Ronnies - The Milkmans Speech

How to write a review

Here is our help guide to writing a review! A review can be on just about anything: a film, a book, what you're mum made for dinner last night etc etc. But, just for this guide we're going to be specific to film reviews, although a majority of what we say can be used to do a review on anything!

Once again, or friend PALS plays an important part in this article, and in fact every article you ever write! But with reviews, some parts of PALS some people can be a little confused about but allow me to explain.

Purpose: The purpose is NOT to tell them about the film!!!!! The reader wants to WATCH the film, not read about it! All you are doing is letting them know bits of the good, the bad and the ugly and if you think it's worth watching. I hate reading a review and then realizing i no longer need to watch the film, because i already know what will happen!

Audience: With film reviews, your audience is obviously someone who is considering watching the film. Therefore, your audience will vary depending on the film itself. For example, if you are doing a review of Thomas the Tank Engine The Movie, its obviously for children or parents of children. If its called Die Zombie Die on the other hand, its more likely to be for horror lovers (or boys who want girls to jump on them during the scary bits during a date!)

Language: As usual, the language can depend on the audience. But also like the audience, the language can ary depending on the film. For example, If you're reviewing The Simpsons Movie, its obviously goin to be for people who like the Simpsons, so they will already know who Snowball II is, or Mr Burns and Smithers so maybe you could make a joke about them somewhere.

Structure: With film reviews, it's usually a few paragraphs will a picture and maybe a little box at the bottom summing up our opinion: Rating: *** Language: Strong Violence: Strong Nudity: BY GOD, IS EVERYONE NAKED???

There are four parts to film reviews which you must include. These are often the same for any review you do. They are:

Introduction: This is your chance to draw the reader in and make them want to keep reading. You could start by mentioning a certain point that you think will interest readers, such as an actress or actor in it, maybe the film had high expectations, or maybe the film is a sequel and you want to see if its as good as the first.

Summary: Here is where you say BREIFLY what the film is about NOT what happens

Commentary: This is the most important part of the review and should be the longest part. This is where you give your opinion of the film. Go into detail of what you liked, what you didn't like and why. It's also good to give examples here and there without giving away the main plot. Talk about the plot, special effects, characters, cast, costumes, scenery and what you think of them.

Conclusion: Here is where you give your overall impression of the film, for example "a good plot but it is severely let down by a disappointing cast." Talk about whether the film is worth seeing, what issues it deals with, what effect the film had on you (did it give you an appreciation for a culture or empathize with a situation?) In the conclusion will also want to mention when the film comes out, o if it is on dvd etc, so that if people are convinced by your review, they will want to go buy it (or won't want to if you said the film was terrible!)

Robyn xxx


10 Things i LOVE about Heath

Here are my ten favourite Heath Ledger moments and things about him...


2. He is ridiculously versatile!!!!! He can play any part under the sun and you don't think "oh its heath ledger acting" you just think of the character he is playing!!!


4. He is so down to earth. He is pretty private and not a big fan of this famous malarky and he is so...normal!!! With all that talent you would think he would get big headed, but no he just a regular guy! (or at least acts like one)


6. He. Is. Beautiful.


8. He is multi talented. He can sing (as seen in 10 Things I Hate About You), act, ride a horse (a knights tale), dance (a knights tale again) do EXCELLENT accents (shown in many of his films) and has plenty more talents to boot.


10. I am so so so upset that he was taken from this world way before his time but he died when his acting was at it's best and so it is the legendaqry performances like the Joker that he will be remembered for.

I Love You Heath and i miss you everyday!!!

Two Ronnies: Your Nuts, My Lord

Benjamin Zephaniah - Responsible

Quote of the day!

When you don't know what you want, you end up wanting a lot more than you need.

Floyd Maxwell

"Our Vision Is Our Voice" Sonia Sanchez (Def Poetry)

The Two Ronnies - Swedish Made Simple

Quote of the day!

When you hate, the only one that suffers is you because most of the people you hate don't know it and the rest don't care.

Medgar Evers


This poem was inspired by the opening paragraph of Roald Dahls BFG

Couldn't sleep
Samurai of the night
Struck his silver blade
Sharp across my eyes

Howling Silence
Smothered word
Smothered love
Smothered existence

Such light
Such silence
Had only been known
By those who could never tell

Couldn't sleep

Robyn xxx


Two Ronnies - Crossed Lines


Sitting here, pen in hand
With a problem
Blake, Duffy and Eliot would understand

Three minutes it hit, though it didn't seem as long
Inspiration hit
Mallet to gong

With every reverberation
Forming stanza, structure, sound
For this god given creation

The pen rocketed as the ideas flew
The ink impressing the centre of the soul
And every poetic skill it knew

But any gong once hit
Must eventually stop
And so the flow slows

I tried to save it, honest i did
I clenched and pinched at the last inch
Of the last syllable of the last word

But alas, it is too late
The structures gone
The rhyming has deceased.

Now al that can be done
Is to sit
And wait
For the next... HIT!

Robyn xxx


The Two Ronnies: Mastermind

Benjamin Zephaniah - Genetics

Barack Obama: Yes We Can

40 Inspirational Speeches in 2 Minutes

100 word review: The Secret Garden

This is still my favourite children's book by miles. A complete classic. Beautiful description that makes you want to run around in nature. Characters are so real you can't help but develop a deep connection with them. A truly heartfelt story of a girl who is taken to live in her Uncle's house after the death of her parents. I have a feeling that girls would enjoy it more than boys although men should give it a read! Its one of those children's books that you can still completely enjoy as an adult and can read over and over again.

Poor Doomed Kiddywinks

Now my dear children
Take a seat
What i've got planned
Is quite a treat

I've planned a trip
In my magic machine
To go into the future
Where there's much to be seen

Lets go forward a decade
You're all seventeen
You've not lived through much
But by God what you've seen!

I'll go through you all now
One after one
And tell you about
One thing thats to come

Patricia you're first dear
A very good start
You're a loner and freak
Because you're too smart

Jamal you're up next
Felthams own grime star
Hiding your self
Behind badman bars

Louise you're a sweet girl
Kind to all
But nice equals boring
Hence your downfall

Ahmed, our young muslims
Who can't grow a beard
And when wearing a backpack
Is openly feared

Sophie keep 'em on dear
Is all i can say
You've been passed around more
Than a parcel at a birthday

Reena you won't have
A friend outside your own race
Bob you'll stab Billy
Just to save face

Alex you're a rockstar
Down in the local bar
Lisa you're in the West End
A theatre star!

Jo will run over
A very short child
Daisy will join up
to 'Good Girls Gone Wild'

Karl you're a track star
Damien you're gay
Louis' left home now
Jay's lost his way

Jenna's bulimic
Nik snorts cocaine
Wasim's an extremist
Beau's gone insane

Naomi's a teen mum
Jack's got a rash
Nina's at Oxford
Abel's white trash

Tina's had cancer
Mark's lost his job
Sam's started a business
Jades got a gob

Thats all of you babies
How great was that?
You'll know you will grow up
An unsuccessful twat!

Why call me bitter?
I'm just telling the truth
This is the story
Of our future youth

I'm not alone
In thinking this way
The media, the elderly
Have all had their say

You're bastards and whorebags
Who need to find Jesus
Become frigid and dull
And you'll sufficiently please us

Robyn xxx


Helpful Hobos

Lifes a bitch
And then you die
So fuck the world
And lets get high!

What a smart philosophy
For those whom this entails
Opens many doors for us
Who do not wish to fail

Throw your lives away my friends
Think not of the cost
This pessimistic train of thought
Works better than compost

While you remain the dirt and stone
We shall grow and flower
For while you bring us extra fries
We'll work for extra power

Robyn xxx


News at Ton

Politics Essay: Political Parties

What are the limitations on the doctrine of the mandate?

The doctrine of the mandate is a theory of representation in modern politics and Is considered to be the most influential of all theories. The theory is that when a party wins an election, they gain a popular mandate. This mandate authorises the party to carry out the policies on which it fought the election. These policies are contained in election manifestos. This theory implies that it is the party rather than the individual politicians who carry out representation. This model provides a clear justification for party unity and party discipline. This means that politicians serve their constituents by staying loyal to their party rather than thinking for themselves. However, there have been four criticisms of the doctrine of the mandate.

The first of these is about the questionable model of voting behaviour. There is little evidence that voters vote for a party on the basis of their manifesto commitments. There can also be other factors which are considered politically unrational. This includes voting for the party that your parents voted for or voting because you like the look of the party leader. This is an important factor to think about in UK politics as we are currently in the age of political celebrity and so the party leaders profiles can often dominate their party. This means that today people are more likely to vote for the party leader rather than the party, which goes against the purpose of the doctrine of the mandate.

Secondly even if voters are influenced by a parties policies, a vote for a party is unlikely to show support for its entire manifesto. This means that a party still couldn’t carry out true representation as people wouldn’t agree with all of their policies. As the Doctrine of the Mandate requires politicians to remain loyal to their party policies, if there was a change that the public wanted made, but the party didn’t agree with it, then it wouldn’t be done. However, if the politicians were to think for themselves, then the politicians with the most power in a party, such as the party leaders, could bring about this change. This can be seen in David Cameron’s leadership of the conservative party. Since his appointment in 2005, Cameron has made many new policies which are considered to go against traditional conservatism. If there was a Doctrine of the Mandate, then Cameron wouldn’t have been able to do this.

Thirdly, there is no way to force elected governments to carry out their manifesto commitments. Some of the policies in manifestos are used to simply win votes, which can actually be difficult to implement. This fact defeats the whole purpose of the Doctrine of the Mandate as even though it does all these good things at the end of the day the government don’t even need to follow it.

Lastly, it is unclear whether the mandate falls to the party or the prime minister. With the Doctrine of the Mandate, there has been a growing tendency for prime minister’s to claim a ‘personal mandate’ which is based on their role in leading the party to power, however this certain mandate allows prime ministers to act however they want. Once again, this completely defeats the purpose of the doctrine of the mandate as one of its purposes is to stop politicians serving constituents by thinking for themselves. This personal mandate, however, allows the most important politicians of the time to completely think for themselves.

I don’t think that the UK could use the doctrine of the mandate with its current politicial situation. The doctrine of the mandate provides clear justification for party unity, however the labour party is currently considered to be ununited. Also the mandate involved parties carrying out the policies on which they fought the election. Gordon Brown, however, didn’t become Prime Minister by winning an election. Therefore he has no election manifestos and wouldn’t be able to gain a popular mandate anyway.

Ricky and Steve - Comic Relief 2009

The two ronnies - Fork handles

The two Ronnies: Some of the greatest comedy writing in British history!

Nikki By Dante Basco

Genetics - Benjamin Zephaniah

I <3 Romeo + Juliet

I absolutely love Baz Lurhmans take on Romeo + Juliet. If you haven't seen it, here is a clip to entice you!

Politics Essay: Democracy

Explain two functions of elections

An election is a method of filling an office or post through choices made by a designated body of people known as the electorate. Elections take place every four or five years. There are four types of elections: the general election, devolved assembly elections, the European parliament elections and local elections. Two of the main functions of elections are to form government and ensure representation.

In the general elections, elections have the function of forming governments. Elections are the main way in which power is transferred from one government to the next. The governments in the UK are formed from the leading members of the majority party in the House of Commons. The results of general elections are usually very clear so the transfer of power normally happens the day after the election. The leader of the majority party becomes the Prime Minister and they must appoint the other ministers for their government. However, it is argued that elections in the UK aren’t always successful in forming governments because where proportional electoral systems are used, there is less likely to be a single winning party. This means that governments may be formed through deals negotiated by two or more parties. These deals can take many days or weeks to negotiate. An example of this can be seen in the Scottish Parliament as a Labour-Liberal Democrat coalition was formed after the 1999 and 2003 elections.

The second main function is ensuring representation. Elections act as a way for communication between government and the people, which means they carry out a representative function. Elections create a link between the elected politicians and their constituents which ensures that the constituency’s concerns are properly articulated and addressed. Elections also create a more general link between the government of that time and public opinion. This happens because elections make politicians and the government of the day are therefore publicly accountable. This gives people final control over the government as they are also ultimately removable. However, because elections are four or five years apart, the link between voters and representatives is weakened, this also includes the fact that there aren’t any recall elections in the UK. Secondly, it is argued how elected politicians should represent their electors and how they actually do it.

A million reasons to be a man

The male was mangled
To create the female
Mankind is managed
By the man who sent us manna. Amen.

The Bible mentions many times
That Jesus is the mender
and holy mentor
For the malevolent menace

To be manlike
Is to be manful
To have manners
And be manly

The mandate of the world
Is that we are a free man
Mensing society
To protect from the mental

The manual labour
And monthly menstruation
Won't grant mansions
Or earn manors

Don't be unmanly
Be mannish
Don't be manless
Be manned

Don't be a woman
Be a man.

Robyn xxx


"The Fly" by William Blake

Politics Essay: Conservatism

Explain the traditional conservative view of human nature

Unlike other ideologies who assume that human beings are naturally good or can be made good, conservatives argue that human beings are both imperfect and unperfectible.

Humans are thought to be psychologically limited and dependant creatures who fear isolation and instability and so are drawn to the safe and familiar and seek the security of knowing their place. This belief has led conservatives to emphasize the importance of social order and to be suspicious of the attractions to liberty. This belief also implies that human beings don’t and can’t exist outside society but need to belong and have roots in society. This has led to a conservative belief in organic society.

Humans are thought to be morally imperfect with immoral or criminal behaviour being rooted in the individual rather than society. Humankind is innately selfish and greedy with the desire of power being the primary human urge. Traditional conservatives explain this by reference to the Old Testament doctrine of ‘original sin’. People can only be persuaded to behave in a civilized fashion if they are deterred from expressing their violent and anti-social impulses. This explains the conservative preference for strong government and tough criminal justice regimes.

Humankinds intellectual powers are also thought to be limited. Conservatives believe that the world is too complicated for human reason to grasp fully. They are suspicious of abstract ideas and systems of thought that claim to understand what is incomprehensible. They prefer to ground their ideas in tradition, experience and history, adopting a cautious, moderate and pragmatic approach to the world and avoiding doctrinaire or dogmatic beliefs. For a conservative, to do nothing may be preferable to doing something.

The Power Of Performance Poetry

An Overly Typical Day

At the end of the day

Its raining cats and dogs

And i'm feeling

Under the weather

I've been told all day

To give 110

And now i'm at the end

Of my tether

I was called today

To the lions den

He said jump

I said how high

I've been trying for years

To reach for the stars

But i've only been

Touching the sky

Theres no I in team

But this office

Isn't big enough for both

that bighead and me

I work like a dog

While he rolls in the dough

But its like they say

The truth will set you free

So i tell the boss

To stick it

Where the sun don't shine

And leave to pack up my desk

But on the train home

I think of the Mrs

and how she'll take

All this mess

The ball and chain screamed

You pulling my leg???

We've got

4 mouthes to feed!

So i called my boss

Talked out my arse

And planted my

Bullshit seed

He swallowed the lot

Thank God for that

And took me back

In a heartbeat

I almost felt valued

Till work the next day

When he tore me apart

Like a piece of raw meat

Robyn xxx



This poem is about something new to me: seeing my very first car crash!

Meeting begins.

A flash of green, a blink, a screech, BANG
A thousand eyes turn to watch
Four turn to help

Insurance, ambulance, mum, all called
Car examined for damage
Motorbike damage clear

Injured on the edge
Of the kerb
Numbed senses, numbed soul

Driver approaches
Carefully, quietly
Eagle to mouse

With great fault comes great kindness
And so the faulter will slaughter
And the injureds killed

Endless lies of ease envelope
Fragments of truth
And with each


Stab of every piercing syllable
Chances of court are calmed
Drivers guilt is calmed
Injured remains far from calm

But incidents never last long
Police arrive, insurance exchanged
Paramedics heal
Bike towed, car escapes

Meeting adjourned.

Robyn xxx


Knock Knock by Daniel Beaty

The Eraser

Here is a poem i wrote when i was 9 years old! Here i am trying that poet writing stuff!!!

The Eraser
The Erase
The Eras
The Era
The Er
The E

Robyn xxx

Welcome to the month of doing something new!!!

This month's theme is doing something new and we will have plenty of work themed on exactly that!!!

We'll have articles teaching you how to do new things, like writing short stories, flash fiction, interviews and we will even be having reknowned internet marketer Diane Corriette writing us an article on how to create your own blog!!!

Also there will be plenty of film reviews such as Legally Blonde, Dodgeball, Finding Nemo, Inspector Gadget and the Fighting Temptations! While none of them are particularly new, these old goodies still deserve praise (or criticism!).

As usual we'll have our petry by Robyn and myself as well as those by famous and up-and-coming poets, so....


Here's to a fun packed May =]