End Of The Month Message

Hello Everyone,

February has been our busiest month by far with between 2-4 posts coming out every single day! Believe us, it's not been easy but we think we definitely grabbed love by the balls and shook all the literature out of it!

Unfortunately, our poll didn't seem to be much of a success but never mind we plan on waiting a few months and trying again. One of the things about blogs is that you have no idea how many people are actually reading everything you post. If it wasn't for the comments you lovely people have left, then we would honestly believe that we were talking to a brick wall!

We got a few more reviews in this month and there are going to be plenty more where they came from too! We also got original by posting Martin Luther Kings famous writings and speeches related to love because spreading love, not violence, among everyone was one of his main aims. 

February is, as we all know, the shortest month of the year and so it flies by like nobody's business but we have definitely filled every second of it!

Tomorrow welcomes March and also the start of the exam period. We receive results from our January exams on  the 15th and then start revising for our May exams! Don't worry, we'll keep you posted on what's going on but should you notice a lot less posting on the site, it's because we've drowned in a sea of coursework, practice papers and homework!

The Match

Here is our second piece sent in by one of our followers, who goes by the name of Ananda!

I always want to love you. Will you match that?

I can’t promise a lifetime, only every day of my life.

I always want to kiss you. Will you match that?

Soft and slow, long and hard, stopping only to inhale.

I always want to hold you. Will you match that?

I dream of being held by you and laying in your arms.

I always want to share with you. Will you match that?

Share my dreams, my hopes my desires and my concerns.

I always want to make you laugh. Will you match that?

Watch you smile, hear you giggle, listen to you laugh out loud.

I hardly know myself around you, always around you as myself.

What God has bought together let no mind tear apart.

Bruised Love

A midnight thirst sent me padding to the kitchen for a jelly jar of water and an accidental run-in with my sister. She tiptoed in, late and limping, her cheek raw as red-brown meat. I caught a quick glance in the chilly glow of the refridgerator before she had a chance to hide the latest souvenir her boyfriend gave her.'I bruise easily' is one of the lies she sprinkles like sugar. But Im a teen not brainless. Besides, I knew the truth at ten.'He'll never do it again, ' she swears. But he will, because she'll let him. Now, me? I've got no use for lame excuses or imitation love that packs a punch.

Symone Johnson
(The poet, not the homegrown one!)

My Lady

Beauty holds no value and the eyes blind
For none but she can bring the stirring in
My paunch nor calm he thundering of my
Seas of anger, fear and doubt. Tender soul
Hath she, yet her brazen fire spits sharp sparks
At the flesh of the wily wretch who dare come
Close to mine person. Lionnesses strive
To match her regal and powerful ways
But fail as badly as those who seek
To take this loyal servant from his queen
Death reigns supreme above life without her
Yet, when i am alone, darkness descends
Upon me, for there is no greater pain
Known to man than that of the broken heart

Robyn xxx



Our blog has officially been going for THREE MONTHS!!!! 

Glitter Graphics

Mr & Mrs Smith: The Review

Before I had even sat down to watch Mr and Mrs Smith, I already felt that I had made up my mind. The Brad, Jen and Angelina love triangle had overshadowed and promote the film at the same time. I was expecting to press play and be able to watch their affair unfold. I was not disappointed, but I was pleasantly surprised.

John and Jane Smith (Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie) are a normal married couple, living a normal life in a normal suburb, working normal jobs...well, if you can call secretly being assassins "normal". But neither Jane nor John knows about their spouse's secret, until they are surprised to find each other as targets! But on their quest to kill each other, they learn a lot more about each other than they ever did in five (or six) years of marriage.

The films opening instantly tells us of their rocky marriage as we find them at a marriage counsellor and when asked how often they have sex, Jane responds “I don’t understand the question.” This scene, and the many that follow, portray the Smiths as a typical couple whose marriage has gone dry. They live together, eat together, sleep together and exchange small talk but otherwise practically live separate lives. This typical dead in the water marriage, however, is soon contrasted when they go to kill a mark .

Pitt tricks his way into their confidence before shooting, while Jolie disguises herself as the marks hired escort, dressed in a black shiny PVC S&M style outfit that will certainly set a few mens...hearts...throbbing, and breaks the marks neck. After they have both killed their marks, they get back home and go to their neighbours party. Throughout the film Jolie is dressed in tigt or sexy and revealing outfits with many face shots of the sexy pout and big eyes. Being a woman, I find it puts a slight damper on the film, especially since Pitt is always fully clothed and doesn’t have a single topless moment. However, you musn’t forget that this is still an action film at its heart and so it must cater to its male-orientated audience with Jolies legs and lips.

This seems to be a recurring theme in the film: traditional and typical followed by or entwined with the dangerous and daring. The Smiths married life is made as typical, and dull, as possible from the outset to create an enormous contrast with their lives as assassins.

Besides the most obvious showcase of this - John and Jane Smith have the most common and uninteresting names in the English language and are assassins – I think my favourite scene illustrates this point perfectly. During a flashback of the beginning of their relationship, John is discussing his love for Jane with his commitment scared best friend Vince Vaughn. Vaughn tries to convince him that he may think he loves Jane, but really she is an evil witch who is going to suck out his soul. Quite the typical manly conversation. The contrast? They do this while John fights a man ten times his size and is often smack to the floor or has his head locked between the huge guys thighs (not as erotic as it sounds, ladies). While Pitt has his man to man with Vaughn, Jolie and supportive best friend Kerry Washington climb a mountain side and discuss is Jane is definitely sure that he’s the one. While the contrast creates many a humerous, but not quite laugh out loud, scene it can also become tiresome.

Vaughn plays his typical character in the film: anti-women, lives with his mother and talks out of his backside as if he is making an excellent point. Of course he is the films comedy character and he does so very well, but other than a few laughs he brings little substance to the film.

As the plot unfolds, so does Pitt and Jolies marriage as they are forced to redo every conversation they’ve ever had, but this time telling the truth. Each key section of the film could be considered a stage in their own personal marriage counselling with the end being a repaired relationship or failure and one of them kills the other.

Pitt and Jolie’s passion was as I had expected: excellent on the verge of real. At one point, the lust in the films sex scene hit such a height that the passion tipped over the edge and I found myself wondering if they even had to act like they had chemistry anymore. On the other hand, they also played the role of bored married couple who don’t love each other anymore very well.

As with every action film it is abundant with fight scenes, often between John and Jane. I was impressed by the fast paced excitement but there was nothing that hadn’t been done before and it was all so well timed that it lost some of its edge.

Mr and Mrs Smith has an interesting plot and is a decent enough film with well acted characters and many good fight scenes. Unfortunately the real life drama of the Pitt-Jolie affair often dulls their sparkling performances and from time to time you forget you’re watching an action and feel more like you’re watching marriage counselling.

Robyn xxx

The theme for March will be...


March is womens month, and as a pair of women, it feels only right to celebrate!!! Everyday we will do a post about one notable woman in history. But we won't just be giving you their long life story, we'll be finding different ways to tell you about them: articles, gonzos, poems, and more...


A puppy in the ways of love
Or so thought by dear old nurse
Alas to be shielded from your greatest desire
Is many a young womans curse
Medicine forced down to protect and refrain
May hold off love fro your duckling
But daily spoonfuls of moral and ethics
Won't keep this swan from loves calling

So bring on this illness and make me a dog
For i wish to be guarded no more
I'm at loves command for better or worse
To live by inks sweet lure
I've courted the plays
I'm poetry's divine, the muse of every sonnet
But pen and paper provide only so much
And so lies the bee in my bonnet

No man has cast deep eyes upon mine
From across a crowded room
No Rosalinds been pushed aside
For my far fairer bloom
No hardened hand with softened touch
Has stroked my hair and skin
No soft damp lips have brushed on mine
And revealed the feelings within

So i play the waiting game
For the Shakespeare of my heart
Only to discover
True loves no spoken art
It started as a friendship
The best a girl could find
But love with this sweet simpleton
Was far from my young mind

He knew not what a sonnet was
He tried to rhyme with purple
Yet something in those big brown eyes
Left me only capable to gurgle
That something was what i had longed
Since my younger years
A man who loved me for all my worth
And for me would face all fears

To him i am true beauty and grace
Though he wouldn't know how to write it
But a single glance from his eyes to mine
Meant more than Billys old dog shit
It seems that literature was my loves dawn
Now he has brought midday
I pray the sun will never set
And my love be taken away

Robyn xxx


Dorothy Parker: A few reasons why I love her

Dorothy Parker... Hmm... Well, her words are like my Bible. She is amazing. I know this is a cliche but, if one day I am half as good as she is, that would be enough. Well... Here's a bit of her work.

Two Quotes:

'Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.'

'By the time you swear you are his,
shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
infinite and undying-
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying'

And the beautiful 'Little Words' (poem):

Little Words
When you are gone, there is nor bloom nor leaf,
Nor singing sea at night, nor silver birds;
And I can only stare, and shape my grief
In little words.
I cannot conjure loveliness, to drown
The bitter woe that racks my cords apart.
The weary pen that sets my sorrow down
Feeds at my heart.
There is no mercy in the shifting year,
No beauty wraps me tenderly about.
I turn to little words- so you, my dear,
Can spell them out.

Do you see now, why I love her so?
Symone xxxxx

The Best medicine?

I first discovered this new brand of pain relief while watching the popular hospital drama, Grey’s Anatomy. The interns were discussing patient Henry Lemont who was having a very painful spinal implant. Henry was allergic to all pain medicine, but luckily one of the Doctors had found him alternative pain relief through ‘Naughty Nurses 4’. That’s right, Henry Lemont, whose wife sat in the corner knitting, was watching pornography to ease his pain.

In the everyday home, pornography is often used as a ‘stress reliever’ and now doctors all over the world are researching into using it as a pain reliever. Watching pornography causes the brain and body to release natural drugs back into the nervous system, which gives it the ability of self-medication as it masks pain and stress.

It’s not specifically pornography that scientists are researching as pain relief. Porn itself could never be solely used as pain medicine, as the thought of thousands of hospital rooms across the world screening “Girls Wet & Wild: Uncut” is, quite fairly, considered unethical.

Instead, scientists have been looking into the science and psychology behind the common saying: Love is the best medicine. Pornography may ease pain relief, but the love for pornography is what releases the pain relieving chemicals.

The best psychological evidence of love easing pain can be seen in the relationship between a small child and their parents. When a small child falls over and scrapes their knee, their screams of pain let the whole world know their hurting. Children are the Kings and Queens of overreacting, and their parents are the jesters to make them smile again. All it takes is for mummy or daddy to kneel down, coo words of comfort, and, the most effective of them all, kiss it better. How many times did your parents kiss your cuts and bruises better? Love and attention is often considered by parents as the de-stressor for their babies.

The science bit behind it is that the love projected from the parent is “caught” and reciprocated by the child. This causes the child’s brain to release the “happy” chemicals to mask pain and bring happiness.

The other type of love that helps ease pain is the love between a couple. There have been many survivors of severe illnesses who claim that they wouldn’t have survived, had it not been for the love of the partner getting them through. Similarly to the love between the parent and child, the love between two couples causes the release of chemicals from the brain.

These chemicals are some what stronger than that of the parent and child however, as they not only mask pain, but it affects the body from head to toe. These chemicals have been inked to reduced heart attacks, ease the pain of back ache, arthritis and migraines and cause people to be less vulnerable to depression and suicide!

So how exactly do the scientists plan on using this information for pain relief? Although the love of a child or partner can be excellent pain relief, unfortunately not everyone in the world is blessed with either of the two.

For those that are blessed with a child, partner or pornographic video, doctors plan on enhancing the interaction between the two to work alongside medication.

The medication itself, however, is what the men in white coats are investigating further. They believe that the key lies in the natural pain relieving chemical L-Phenylalanine. It helps to lengthen the lifespan of the chemicals in the brain that ease pain and is especially effective in relieving pain from arthritis and aching muscles. Enhanced pain relief has been discovered when L-phenylalanine is used with prescribed pain killers and normal pain relief is found when used on its own.

The scientists have created their own version of this chemical called DL-phenylalaine which is a combination of half L-phenylalaine and half D-phenylalanine. L-Phenylalanine is the natural form of phenylalanine found in proteins all over the body. D-Phenylalanine is a synthesized form of the chemical, which means it is produced in a laboratory. This manufactured form of phenylalanine is used to block an enzyme in the nervous system that increases pain signals. The interruption of pain signals allows the healing mechanisms of the body to begin working faster. Though they may not have yet discovered how to get us running on love as easy as Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, you have to pay theses scientists their dues.

For all the parents, children, couples and general public out there who are suffering from a little pain, these scientists have discovered the cheapest and nicest solution. From now on, instead of reaching for the pills, people will be reaching for their parents or children and partners or pornos. I believe that this discovery will bring a far happier and more sexually aroused world. Thank god.

Robyn xxxx

Great Minds Think Alike!

A few months ago i began telling people of my dream to create my own prison. This prison would house those who had committed summary or triable either way offences and rehabilitate them from reoffending or their crimes stepping up to indictable, at which point their riminal records would prevent them from ever being able to move on (and some would say, why should they be able to?).

I've always felt that of all prisoners in the country, not every single one can be a heartles, ruthless evil human being. I have always believed that some see crime as their only option, in fact some homeless commit offences so that they may have a place to stay and 3 meals a day. My plan was based on the idea of teaching the method of working hard and saving money to build up what you have. It takes elements of rehabilitation schemes i've seen here and there and takes them up a level.

Every prisoner has the right to somewhere to sleep, access to a toilet and shower, an hours exercise a day and 3 meals a day. While this sounds lovely, the prisons often aim to keep the beds, meals, toilets and showers to a terrible standard. My prison would give the necessary rights and they would be as awful as they are in other prisons. However, prisoners would have another option.

Instead of simply wasting their days mooching around, they would be given the oppotunity to get a job within the prison. This would not only involve jobs around the prison but also making toys for children (which is courrently dne in one of the worlds toughest prisons in America) and other small jobs. They would earn money from these jobs and could use the money to buy better meals, buy nicer pillows and even pay to go back into education or recieve training so that when they leave prison, they leave better educated. Now allow me to be clear, this money would not be physical paper, nor would it be a currency that could be used anywhere outside the prison (this prevents the money being used for offences), it would be virtual and shown on a screen when you enter the prisoners ID code. The money would have to be spent by the prisoner in person only, who tells the "money officer" wat they want to buy, who then handles te purchase and billing of the product. All prisoners would have a list of purchase and so if a prisoner is seen using an item he has never bought, it would subsquenly be removed.

While there are clearly many flaws, it is far frm my set plan and simply the outline of a dream of mine. However, i was disappointed to discover that the UK doesn't allow private prisons and so if i ever wished to build my dream, i would have to take a trip to America. Still, it will be many years until i begin my plan and so the UK has plenty of time to change it's legislation!

What pushed me to tell you all this is when read an article on the BBC about a woman in America who had gone and done my idea first! Though no where near as extreme and complicated as my idea, Catherine Rohr is going to prisons and teaching business to convicts, has created the Prison Entrepreneurship Program and, most importantly, is succeeding. Many convicts have found themselves business ideas, which they get to pitch to business executives and often have earned to new skills and training to start their own businesses!

I have decided that if the program is still around when i'm older, than i shall pitch my prison idea to Mrs Rohr and see what she thinks!

Robyn xxx

Turning crack dealers into chief executives: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/7839957.stm


S ex on legs and a great behind,
Y et also pretty, funny and kind.
M any envy your heart of gold,
O f all the talents you have to behold.
N ever let a dickface make you forget,
E very blessing we've had since we first met.


Robyn Loves You <3


I'm Officially The Other Woman

I’m officially the other woman, the one we all despise

The sneaking, cheating, hated one but not the one who lies

See he must play his own part too for this affair to work

And he’s the one who has a wife so how come he’s no jerk

He leaves his wife. And tells her lies.

But it seems its not his fault… I led him on.

So i’m offically the other woman, the one we all despise

But hold on just a minute I’m not the one telling lies


...Because life is so easy on you

She does not do stress.
It freaks her out.
Escape? Not an option.
This life...
This state...
Her only form.
It's a fucking waste.

The four walls,
hold her up,
control her life.
She does not drop.
She will not crumble.
She cannot fail.

The boy that claims to love her,
The towel that dries her tears.
The pillow she hugs at night.
The light burning a hole in her fears.

The tasks are alomost about to start,
She knows she starting a losing race.
This marathon- too much.
Can it be done?

She's fighting a losing battle.
She's dying in this war.
She's empty like a bottle.
No longer...
No more...

Poem: "Will You Shoot Me Now?"

2 English ladies meet German WW2 pilot. Poem based on true event. Humorous performance poetry by Adam Taylor at Ledbury Poetry Festival.

Denying My Name!!!

I was just reading the Rihanna-Chris Brown assault article online, to see that Rihanna's real name is Robyn Fenty!!!! Of course, my initial response to that was:


But on pausing for reflection, I realised that celebrities changing perfectly good names is a very common occurance. Take 50 Cent, Eminem, 2 Pac, Snoop Dogg, Jay-Z, Queen Latifah, Alicia Keys, Anna Nicole Smith, Billie Holiday, Marilyn Monroe, the list goes on and on. But what exactly is it that is so desirable about changing a name?

For some, it is the work of a smarmy agent who tells them that they must have a successful sounding name to be successful. Marilyn Monroe is one such example, who changed her name from Norma Jean Baker. Now imagine if a cigar in a suit had told Obama to do that? Would he have had the same edge is he had been called George Smith?

Others, however, seem to have made an extremley pointless change to their name. Alicia Cook became Alicia Keys, for the sake of clever word play and Robert Keeshan became Captain Kangroo because... well he's clearly not the sharpest tool in the box.

Another thought has just sprung to mind. Have you seen the episode of Friends where Phoboe changes her name to Princess Consuela BananaHammock? On arrival at the "name changing place", Phoboe asks what the rules are to changing her name to be told that she can change to anything she wants.

While the authiorities would obviously not allow someone to legally change their name to comething offensive, the fact that it is so easy to change your name is slighlty concerning. Your name is often considered a huge part of your identity, as it is what you are known by from birth to death. So when you change your name, surely you are changing a part of yourself? Or perhaps for some people, that is the whole advantage to changing your name. Would Marilyn Monroe had as much confidence and sex appeal as Norma Jean Baker? I guess we'll never know!

Have Patience

I will wait.
The flower will open up to me.
I have time.
All day.
Until the flower will close.
The sun blazes.
The heat bounces off the ground.
The sun seems to kiss the sky.
Summer has only just begun.
I am you...
You are me...
I know this deeply.
I have faith.
I will wait.
The flower will not close.
You'll find me.
In time.

Review: Love Actually

This romantic comedy breaks the conventional mould of it’s genre in ways that no romcom has done before. With Love Actually, anyone wishing to watch doesn’t require a high level of estrogen. This was recently proven by my mass-murdering-torturing-violence-loving-exploding-death-war-loving boyfriend. In the beginning, he watched to please me. By the end? I watched it twice more to please him.

Love Actually explores outside the “conventional” love which is often portrayed in romantic comedies. The film sees ten unique stories beautifully entwined, each covering a different form of love. Though it remains in loves legal boundaries, the plot is quite literally the A-Z of love. We see the story of the husband, wife and wannabe mistress, the secret love, the love that can never be, the rockstar and his manager, the work mates (with a interesting twist), the step-father and son, the PM and his secretary, love through the language barrier, young love, and lastly, the unlucky in love, who tries to get lucky in America. A round of applause must be granted to the writes, in the way that they manage to not only tell each story, but link them together, without causing the audience to reach for the headache pills.

More credit must be granted to the impeccable cast. The crème de la crème of British actors and actresses are joined by a few yanks, thrown in to ensure the films success over the pond. As well as the typical actors found in romantic comedies – Hugh Grant and Colin Firth – you also find world class talent in superb performances by the likes of Bill Nighy and Laura Linney.Nighy plays the has-been rock star Billy Mack, who is attempting a comeback with the help of his exasperated manager Joe. Billy Mack provides much of the comedy of the film, as shown in the opening scenes.

The opening scene depiction of Heathrow Airport and a small speech by Hugh Grant about love being “all around”, brings the warm gushy feeling to your stomach in the first five minutes. The following scene, shows Billy Mack in the recording studio where he gives the classic line: “shit, bugger, arse head and hole.” This line brings us right back to the very hilarious, and very British, reality which this film strongly tries to uphold.

Keeping in tune with reality is one of the many reasons that this film is a success, and manages to refrain from becoming an overly nostalgic lovey-dovey mush. My favourite proof of this has to be in the films one almost-sex scene. In the average romcom, it would have been quick-paced, passionate and noisy. Love Actually? Unplanned, slightly awkward start and a dress that won’t budge!

I must also grant a special round of applause – and an entire paragraph -to Martine McCutcheon. She brilliantly shakes off her tacky soap opera past to reveal fresh, believable acting talent. Her role as Natalie, the Prime Minister’s secretary sees McCutcheon wholly embrace the personality of the normal West London girl and grants her a space in all our hearts.

My personal love for this film comes from the fact that it is as British a film could ever be. The weddings are filled wit big hats, vol-au-vent buffets and dodgy DJs. The language is stuffed with handfuls of ‘bugger’ and gallons of ‘bloody.’ A common case with romcoms is for the British actors to attempt a non-regional dialect (once again to make the film more accessible for our old American buddies). Love Actually tosses this aside and instead the accents are as regional as you could possibly desire. Contained in this film is every form of the London accent that exists as well as Scottish, American and Portuguese! I also love the multicultural cast that truly reflects London streets. As well as this, the film has an inter-racial relationship in the form of Keira Knightly and Chiwetel Ejiofor.

Love Actually continues to break moulds and bring new meaning to the word “romantic comedy” right to the very end. I had expected a disappointing and predictable romantic comedy ending, but I was wrong. The endings were as predictable as English weather. There are plenty of happy endings to please the usual romcom lovers, who only watch for the lovey-dovey feeling at the end and use these films to revive their hope in the big ‘L’. But what you must not forget is that this film intends to keep to reality by showing love at its worst as well as its best.

Love Your Cat? THEN CHOP 'EM OFF!

Think back to a time when you’ve been in a relatively silent area. Maybe it was dinner with family or watching a movie with friends. Did somebody fart? Were you embarrassed? Was it silent but deadly? Did it smell for ages? Well I’m here to make you feel a little better about yourselves! Cats bring silent but deadly to a whole new level! To reach it, you’ll need a space shuttle and a ladder! I’m here to tell you why.

A cat’s protein rich diet produces small amounts of stinky gas because the proteins they consume contain a whole lot of sulphur. The fart itself is hardly audible (I told you it was silent but deadly!) but the odour is overwhelming not only for the people in the vicinity, but even for next door!

The amount of gas produced is tiny but highly potent as it possesses some sort of inner strength that can smell how it does. You know what they say, big things come in small packages! Secondly, the horizontal orientation of a Cat’s gastrointestinal system puts less pressure on the anal opening which means the gas is released much slower and as they fart very rarely, I guess they cherish the few seconds of manhood they can endure in a lifetime. Also, cats do not feel embarrassed whatsoever when they fart which means their sphincters are more relaxed which leads to a less noisy flatulence.

This leads me to talking about neutering. Neutering a male before he reaches puberty almost always prevents completely the development of all mating behaviour, which includes spraying urine and marking territory with urine, and the desire to roam outside searching for a mate. This in itself puts the cat at great risk for injury or even death from being hit by cars; being the object of human cruelty; infection and disease from other cats; death from natural predators, and cat fighting. Neutering also prevents the cat from farting! So if you’re lucky, you may never have to smell the stench that is a cat fart. Male cats are usually neutered between 5 1/2 and 9 months of age, before habits such as spraying urine and farting are started. Neutering involves the removal of the source of sex hormones and sperm cells, which are the testicles. The two incisions are usually so small that stitches or sutures are not even needed. And, normally, the cat is sent home the very same day.

Many people do not get their cat Neutered as they think that it’s probably just 1 litter, but believe me it’s not. 1 fart, 1 spray of urine is all it takes for a habit to be formed, and you will hate the results.

In total, there are 21,000 reasons why you should neuter your cat. 21,000 is the number of potential offspring that could be given birth to if your cat is not neutered.

Male cats should be neutered at six months, but can be neutered at any age thereafter. If your cat is kept indoors, neutering is still the best option. Neutering will prevent him from become sexually frustrated and continually trying to escape, and will also save you from the smelly problem of urine-spraying. Having the snip will not 'change his personality', that is another common myth without any basis in fact.

I have a cat called Flashy and let me tell you, he’s got some big ass cahones. When he’s in ‘crazy’ mode, he’ll try to bite just about anything. From toes to Nintendo Wii remotes, it really doesn’t bother him. He’s a male, I Love Him, so I’m going to get him neutered. If you love your cat, get him neutered!

Bhavin Tejura


I want you in my life,
That's not a statment,
That's a fact.
My life is killing me, slowly, I need you back.
Sometimes it makes me angry that I'm still
Caught up on you.
But, it's the way you move, talk breath...
It's the little things you do.

Everyone's heart beats- it's what keeps us alive.
It stops. We all die.
My heart, it beats for you
Each emotion you feel, I feel it too.
I break down,
On the random sometimes.
It's because of you,
And the things you do to me...
It should be made a crime.

You ignore my exsistence.
Each time I die,
A little bit more inside,
All I need is a 'Hello' or
All I need to know you care,
To prove to myself,
Is there.

You have the worlds longsest
History of 'My babyee'
When, will it be my two weeks?
I know I don't have much to offer.
I'm noy blonde or 'gawjus'
or something
or other.

All I can promise is that
You know you will have my heart
Stick with me, we can never part.

This heartache is rediculous, stupid and vain
You could never love a girl like me
This is insane.

My heart is
pouring out to you
alover this page.
My pen burning through thr paper
Praying you'll stay.

But you won't,
Why should you?
When your 'Babyee' is one your arm,
More girls queuing
At the door,
When you turn on the charm

This poem is for you,
My dear,
My Beloved

I Pray...
You will realise...
All you need,
All I need,
All I want...
You and me.

The the heartache will end.

Symone xxxx

Charles Dickens Day!

Today, the 7th of February, is Charles Dickens day and so we have posted one of his love poems for you guys to enjoy! Now obviously Charles Dickens is more well known for his books, but we can hardly post a book on here now, can we! So, without further ado, we present Lucy's Song by Charles Dickens:

Lucy's Song

HOW beautiful at eventide
To see the twilight shadows pale,
Steal o'er the landscape, far and wide,
O'er stream and meadow, mound and dale!

How soft is Nature's calm repose
When ev'ning skies their cool dews weep:
The gentlest wind more gently blows,
As if to soothe her in her sleep!

The gay morn breaks,
Mists roll away,
All Nature awakes
To glorious day.
In my breast alone
Dark shadows remain;
The peace it has known
It can never regain.


The love has gone now.
Without you I swear I'm lost
I'm all alone. Cold

Symone xxx

Blind? We wish.

Whoever said that love is blind
Has clearly not taken to mind
That what men love beyond compare
Has double D breasts and long blonde hair

Admittedly there are a few
Who'll want to know the inner you
But they're more likely to give their heart
To Stephen, Michael, Paul or Bart

Robyn xxx

All Poetry is copyrighted

My 25 Greatest Loves... [Robyn]

One note: apart from number 1, they are not in order!

1. my baybe (no, i am not a mother), my family and my friends
2. The Harry Potters
3. The Colour Purple film
4. Romeo & Juliet
5. Moulin Rouge
6. Disney Classics
7. Bacon sandwiches
8. Hot weather
9. Shopping
10. My home
11. Writing poetry
12. Thinking about University and my future career!!!!
13. F.R.I.E.N.D.S
14. Grey's Anatomy
15. Peter Kay
16. Flirting
17. Granola and probiotic yoghurt
18. Bolognese pasta
19. CHINESE FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
20. How i met your mother
21. Comedy Films
22. The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett
23. Little Women and Good Wives by Louisa May Alcott
24. Having a good sleep
25. Jane Eyre

Poem of Atonement - performed Jewish Book Week 2008

A humorous poem exploring that prayer on Yom Kippur where you're expected to atone for very general categories of sins.

New Beginnings

Our souls touched and in that moment I knew
You shared yourself with me and I with you
But a lie was told and everything changed
Without trust what remains for us to keep
Within a day we are more than friends
And yet my heart yearns to know you deeply
Why is love so impossible to find?
What makes lies so easy to tell, out loud?
Where will we be if we start so misplaced?
When love hurts so early surely pain lives
How does my heart mend and move on to more
Loneliness of life awaits me once more
I fight but it won’t leave. Unwelcome guest.
But love will find me again before long

Ananda (Personal Growth Coach Diane Corriette)

Looking to find your Life Path? Use Life Path Unlimited http://www.succeed.lifepathunlimited.com

Love, Ted


I'm Leaving. I can't take this anymore
It just isn't working out. It just isn't the same.
I'm doing a Paddington (without the tag of desperation)

We've been together for a while now, and i think it's time i left.
You're not the same person that you were when we first met.

You hide me from your friends. Pretend i don't exist.
Am i such an embarrassment?
You never used to think so.

You don't pay me any attention either. You just bugger off
to school.
Just leaving me in bed every morning
And not returning till bed that night

I used to be your everything and go everywhere
with you. Now you never take me out.
You used to buy me cute little hats, and dress me up all dau
Now i'm naked and bare.

You won't take care of me now.
I'm stained
and coarse.

You've torn me to pieces a thousand times
And only your mum
Bothers to sew me back together

I'm leaving. Before it's too late.
Before you leave me in a sale, a shop. A bin.
You'll miss me when i'm gone.
When you eventually notice.

I love you.
I know you love me, even if you've forgotten.
I'm sorry, but this is just something i have to do.

Your eternal friend,

T. Bear

Groundhog Day

Today is February 2nd which, for all you Americans, means Groundhog Day.Therefore it seemed only right to do a review of the 1993 romantic comedy Groundhog Day starring Bill Murray and Andy McDowell.

Groundhog Day is a strong of redemption which sees rude, sarcastic and egotisical TV weatherman Phil Connors sent to Punxsutawny to cover Groundhog Day, along with producer Rita and cameraman Larry. This is his 4th year covering the story and he makes no effort to hide his frustration or deep loathing for Groundhog day, the town and everybody in it. On awaking the following day, he discovers that it is Groundhog Day again and again and again. Phil is left with the dilemma of what to do when there is no tomorrow and how the hell to get out of it!

The citizens of Punxsutawny are kept to a minimal number in the cast as around 9 or 10 are reused in different scenes with different importance in those scenes. This not only saved the film a great deal of money in casting but it creates a connection between them and the audience. As Phil sees them all over the place and grows to know and like them, so do the audience.

The film is quite a pick’a’mix of comedy, no doubt to try and capture everybodys sense of humour at one point or another. The first sweet to be pulled from the bag is the sarcastic humour which is to be expected from any comedy starring Bill Murray. This comedy of sharp tongues is contained solely behind the lips of Murray’s character Phil. This keeps the sarcasm from overwhelming and becoming dull and provides plenty of laughs through Phil’s quick wit and his co-stars reactions.

The second sweet is just as pleasing and much more subtle, sort of like the red Haribo bear: it doesn’t have the strongest flavour, but it’s everyone’s favourite. I am referring to the satire of the citizens of Punxsutawny where the writers have tried to cover every small towner stereotype they could think of. My favourite is Ned Ryerson, an old school friend that Phil bumps into, who now sells insurance. Ned is one of those people who are perfectly pleasant but also perfectly irritating. Ned’s satire follows the path of the insurance salesman that just won’t leave you alone and his cheery sales personality makes you want to punch him in the face which, incidentally, Phil does during the film.

The last sweet I shall mention is one of a far more sour taste; the films dark comedy. When Phil becomes sick of repeating the same day over and over, he tries to kill himself over and over in every different way that he can think of. While the scenes bring a few chuckles, you can’t help but wonder if you should really be laughing.

While the film has oodles of laughs, it is still a romantic comedy and so plenty of love and gooeyness is provided through Phil’s love for his producer Rita. However, the film never seems to manage to find a balance between romance and comedy and so while ¾ of the film is complete laughs and then the last 45 minutes is complete romance with barely a titter. This lowers the films quality as the audience expect more laughs but find themselves unsatisfied. The ending is when the film hits it’s romantic peak and also becomes the most unrealistic, which says a lot for a film that is about a man repeating the same day

Bill Murray plays his role quite similarly to the other films of his heyday; with sarcastic humour and quick wit. On the other hand, Phil’s personality transformation from complete arse to talented humble romantic is very smooth and convincing and yet he still manages to keep his unique style. Andie McDowell gives some C grade acting as the sweet lovable Rita and her performance rests greatly on her good looks, girl next door personality and amazing romcom reputation.

Groundhog day is a great comedy with a good storyline, good acting and good laughs but unfortunately I think it needs a genre rename because the romance is simply shoved in at the end.